02.04.10
City girl
By Sonya Rehman
The trees outside my dorm building are stripped of their leaves. Just a few months ago they stood, in all their glory – christened in glowing hues of flaming red, burnt orange and lime yellow. But winter is here. She’s spread her frosty cape over the city, while her icy breath has seductively made the trees drop their glamorous robes. They now stand vulnerably before her. But they still greet me. Almost apologetically. But I now understand why she’s here. Winter’s sweet presence only amplifies what is yet to come – summer’s warmth.
With my first semester done and over with at Columbia, I realize that the once clueless girl who landed in New York in early August has changed in many, many ways. In these few months, I’ve aged. I realize that. And even writing this now, I feel like an old codger. But let me reminisce for a bit…
Once, in the midst of my first semester here, we were assigned day stories to report and file before early evening. My assignment was to do a follow-up piece on Jack Price – a middle-aged man who was beaten to a pulp by two homophobic youngsters outside a deli in Queens. And all I had was a pen, a notepad and a brief police report in hand.
After watching the unsettling video of the attack (caught by security cameras) on YouTube, and then catching a number of wrong trains and buses, I miraculously wound up in College Point Boulevard in Queens – my destination.
I was jittery and at the same time wondered how the hell I was going to get the juice on the story since it’d already been covered extensively in the local news. It was raining – the sky menacingly overcast – and I had half my mind made up to turn around back to my dorm. Besides, the little neighborhood that I walked through was utterly vacant. But the further I walked, the more shops and delis I saw. Walking into a few, I spoke with a couple of shop owners, attendants and customers about the incident – all the while jotting down their take on the matter in my notepad. At one point I found myself in local butcher’s shop talking to a guy called Steven about Jack Price, and a few minutes later, about Waziristan. Quite bizarre.
With a few pages of my notepad filled with quotes, I had two hours to file my report to the Professors. I was giddy. And at one point, on the train ride back to Columbia I seriously considered crime reporting in Pakistan, but I knew I wouldn’t last a day. The only Pakistani female crime reporter I’ve ever known/heard of is Xari Jalil. And she’s tough. Compared to her, I’m a wet napkin.
“You’re too thin-skinned Sonya”, one of my Editors had told me in Pakistan, “To be in this profession, you need to be thick-skinned.” But I’ve never really toughened up, even if I maintained a hairy upper lip, developed a cool swagger, barked – as opposed to talking, and dressed butch, I’d still be a softie. But I prefer it that way. Dressing butch and hairy upper lips aren’t very attractive to the opposite sex.
A few weeks ago my fellow suite mates and I were in a bit of a dilemma. Late one night I’d spotted a mouse shaking its romp on our kitchen stove. Screaming silently in my head, I’d thundered back to my room and alerted the girls in an email: May Day chickies, we have a furry friend on the loose!
The next morning, Janani, Annie, Anquinette and I discussed the issue at hand while Annie’s boyfriend bonked around the kitchen to appease our frazzled nerves. But the little bugger had skedaddled off somewhere long before daybreak. The mouse that is. A few hours later, Anquinette sent us an email stating: “The only reason that I think that I have never encountered this problem in my room is that my luggage and the boxes that my bf sends me regularly are scented by our cats rubbing on them, so mice think that there are cats in my room and choose to go elsewhere.”
To which Annie replied: “I don’t have a cat…so can’t have cats rubbing over!” I felt like a loser. I didn’t have a cat, or a boyfriend!
The other evening, prior to taking in the view from the 86th floor of the Empire State building’s rooftop, myself and two other friends ran into, or rather, ran AFTER Madeleine Albright on 5th Avenue.
“Isn’t that Madeleine Albright?” Noha, my friend and batch mate at the Journalism School had said to me and Michael as we made our way across a crowded pathway.
That did it. The next thing I knew, I was running after Michael like a loon, crossing a busy road to the other side after an old woman.
“What the hell are you guys doing?!” Noha had yelled out to us as we ran. While running I thought Noha was mistaken. For all we knew it was someone else. But as we reached the other side of the road, I saw her – it was Madeleine Albright walking a foot away from me! “Oh my God! I’m so sorry to disturb you right now Ms. Albright,” Michael had said, his voice bubbling over in excitement, “But I have to say, I just LOVE YOU!”
It was one of those ‘celebrity moments’ where you have no idea what the hell you’re doing or saying. As Michael spoke, I smiled cheesily and bowed like a retard. I have no idea why I bowed. Maybe I should’ve fallen to my knees and rammed my head to her feet to finish off the gesture. For a split second I thought Albright was going to blow us off, but she was pretty gracious, she shook our hands, thanked us sweetly and made her way up the road with a young woman – presumably a family member. And as she walked away into the crowd, I stared at her back thinking if Albright were a Pakistani, she’d be bundled up in a Land Cruiser with a twenty-five member entourage in fancy cars, police vans, screaming sirens et al and cornered off traffic waiting hopelessly for her entourage to pass by. As you can tell, I’ve never been a big fan of the VVIP culture in Pakistan. It’s repulsive and will always remain something I’ll never understand, and never will. Thankfully.
I think my time in the city can best be surmised by Norah Jones’ latest album, ‘The Fall’. I’m riveted by the entire album – especially ‘Chasing Pirates’. I love the song’s music video. It features Jones driving a building as if it were a ship – in search of something from a message in a bottle. Living in this city, I feel like that an awful lot – on an intense treasure hunt. Maybe everyone here feels like that. Perhaps that’s what this city does to you, because to me, it feels like a maze.
Two of my childhood friends in New York lost their brother recently in a car crash back in Lahore. Adnan was only 17 when he passed away. I still have a sketch he’d made me of Spongebob Square Pants. Such a wonderful kid. His passing made me realize the futility of everything and the importance of having a good clean heart, because you never really know when your time’s up. Holding Ayesha and Amna’s hands in Amna’s apartment in New York – while we remembered Adnan and his sunny smile – I understood that with every loss, there’s equal gain. Both always come before us in the form of tragedies that we might not accept, and gifts that we may readily embrace. I hope my son has Adnan’s essence.
A few days prior to 2010, I penned a little something late one night:
“From one portal to the next. Let the leaves of your dreams change colour. Risk. Love. Full of grace. Fight for depth. Seek spirit and let it be sought. You, the child of your mother’s soil, run, laugh, fly.”
I was thinking of Adnan and all the time that had suddenly passed too swiftly by.
The Friday Times
02.02.10
Son
“Mother don’t cry,
I’m with you…can’t you see”,
Standing on the precipice,
Of then and now,
His hand brushed across her graying braid,
Her weathered face,
Her worn hands,
Brushed,
The earth of her heart,
Mother and son,
Her Eternal Son,
“Hold me now, child…”
Twilight bled its way,
Over the mountains of the Karakoram,
Armour and baby faith,
Brown eyes and soldier boots,
He held her to his breast,
And there she stayed,
In the comfort,
Of the Eternal Son,
The One.
11.15.09
East west fusion
By Sonya Rehman
“Life is so unexpected and spontaneous here” I wrote to my mother in an email the other day, “In Lahore, there was a comfort in planning/dreaming ahead…but by the same token, there is a comfort in knowing that the days, weeks and months ahead will lack uniformity.”
Pry yourself out of that bubble, that comfort zone, and you will fast gain perspective on what you’d like your little sphere of life to represent till the end of your days.
In the present, in New York, on quieter days as it rains gently, memories of Lahore roll out like a filmstrip of sepia-toned visuals. Choppy clips, without sound. The other day, I heard the sound of an ice cream van playing a soft jingle in the distance. It took me back to my babyhood and how my heart would race at the sound of the ice cream-wallah cycling down the street near my house. How quickly the years flee by. It was only then that I’d realized how short life is. How intensely short. The realization hit me deeply and it made me think that my unborn children will, one day like me, race towards the gate for an ice lolly on a warm, sunny day – without a care in the world. And then years down the line the realization will hit them too…thus, the cycle will continue. Spinning in continuous motion, without suspension.
Apart from gaining an education here, I see myself gaining life experience too. On a daily basis. In the beginning the subways terrified me – and that was just one of many things mind you. New York, to me, represented a futuristic hodgepodge of shallowness and depth – much like Lahore.
I’m taking it all in: the loud roar of the trains, and the way they come screeching to a halt at the subway stations, the wizened, old people – how they hobble down the street with walking sticks…fragile, like paper dolls. Couples, holding hands. Stripped of inhibitions. A little poodle in a sweater sniffs a frothy puddle as her owner tugs the leash gently to move the puffball away from the muck. A woman with beautiful hips sways, her fingers lightly tapping her headphones, she is smiling, making her way to work. The orderliness of life; the subway passes, the credit cards, the debit cards, swiping cards, shopping, clothes, food, swipe your card some more, the immigrants and the rings under their eyes, the way they hold onto their culture fiercely, their wild-eyedness…The way of life here represents a mechanical orderliness which, on pensive days, makes me miss the loop-holes of the system back home. The rustic disorderliness. My Eastern heart, I oft realize is usually in over-drive; romanticizing her soil, her people. But, absence always makes the heart grow fonder.
In New York, there is music and spontaneity everywhere; turn the corner and you will find yourself in the midst of a street fair, walk down the stairs into a subway station and you’ll wind up hearing the most moving notes of music being played by a saxophonist in the corner somewhere.
I recently went with a friend to watch the live screening of ‘Madam Butterfly’ at the Lincoln Center. I’d always had an aversion to Opera, but watching ‘Madam Butterfly’ on a massive projector in the outdoors with scores of New Yorkers – I was touched. It was a magnificent, gripping production.
It’s true – when you’re living in another country on your own, your likes and dislikes continuously change because everything is new, foreign, and different.
Over Eid this year, I thought I’d be stuck in my room studying but wonderfully enough, I found myself tucking into home-cooked Pakistani food (such bliss!) with a bunch of engaging, young people. Afterwards, we walked down to Central Park and played kho-kho – running about in the sun, all of us twenty-somethings. I felt rather silly initially as I’d worn a traditional shalwar kameez and khussas, but off they came (only the khussas!) and I ran about on the grass like a self-confessed nutter, bare-footed in merriment.
In September, I found myself at the UN General Assembly at a ‘Concert for Pakistan’ which was held to raise awareness of the humanitarian crisis in Pakistan. It was put together by well-known musician, Salman Ahmad – who continues to give performances under the banner of ‘Junoon’. Why, I do not know – considering the fact that it has been yonks ever since Junoon disbanded and each musician went his separate way.
Still, the concert was pretty good – with performances by Gavin Rossdale, the band ‘Outlandish’ along with others. Nobel Laureate, Dr.R.K.Pichauri, Jeff Skoll, Bobby Sager and a host of other personalities and advocates gave speeches as well. The General Assembly was packed with Pakistanis. At one point the friend I was with sardonically stated: “This is what’s wrong with Pakistan.” Asking him what he meant he went on to explain that most Pakistanis make lives for themselves here, in the West, rather than go back to their homeland and contribute to the society. This, he’d elaborated, owed to the major brain drain back home. Whether he was right or not, his comments left a rather bitter taste in my mouth.
But onto happier things, I got to see U2 in the flesh this October at the Giant’s Stadium in New Jersey. Shelling out a hundred dollars for the ticket, I’d decided I could go hungry for a few days rather than miss seeing Bono sing ‘One’ live. What fantastic performers the band members of U2 are, they truly had the stadium – jam-packed with people – riveted. The highlight of the evening was not only Bono singing ‘One’, but ‘Stuck in a moment’ being performed as it drizzled. At one point, my eyes welled up. It made the traumatic experience of having a tipsy beefcake (who was belching and yelling in my ear) in the crammed train all the way to the stadium worth it.
Every morning, the smell of fresh pizza wafts out of a popular pizza joint as I make my way to class hurriedly. On a 113th and Broadway, I have just a few more blocks to go before the gates of my university are within view.
Winter is elbowing her way in speedily. My hands are cold. I need woolly gloves. The months are condensing. I must make the most of this, I tell myself often.
I feel like a different person. I am too, stripped of my old identity…but I hold onto my core and what defines me fiercely. Can’t wait to be home.
The Friday Times
09.13.09
Here I come
By Sonya Rehman
The past few weeks have had me reeling. I left Lahore on the 1st of August with a crazy, extended travel itinerary planned out ahead of me. Little did I know I was going to be air-bound, airport-bound and nauseated for over 24 hours.
I was super amped about my departure. This was because I’d waited for two years to finally attend Journalism School at Columbia University in New York. The wait was primarily due to a lack of aid to cover my fees for the year (a typical, run-of-the-mill student sob story – boo hoo).
Until however, the Fulbright Scholarship came along – like a buffed superhero – and swiped me off my feet.
So this is what my travel itinerary looked like: Lahore to Islamabad – Islamabad to Dubai – a 9-hour wait at the Dubai International Airport (yikes), followed by a 14-hour flight to Washington (double yikes) – a connecting flight to Albany – a two day stay at Albany (for the Fulbright Gateway Orientation) and then my final destination: New York City on the 5th.
‘Okaaaaay’, I thought, ‘I can do this’. I felt tough and independent, until PIA (Pakistan International Airlines) began ‘descending’ into Dubai’s International Airport. Feeling like I was sitting on a razor-edged gangsta rap song, the plane literally plummeted, twirled and tumbled thousands of feet below to the tarmac. Holding onto my seatbelt and wheezing in utter panic, my mind raced: ‘I can’t die. No I can’t. God does NOT have sadistic tendencies. Uh oh – turbulence, air-pockets! Okay, okay, so uh, make eye contact with someone…anyone! Okay not the Arab guy, NOT THE ARAB GUY. Uh oh is the Arab guy staring? Yes he’s staring! Air-pockets! I’m a good girl I am!’
Minutes later, we had ‘descended’.
I don’t think I’ve ever loved PIA’s signature jingle as passionately as I did when it started playing, as the plane inched its way slowly down the landing strip. Quivering like a jellyfish with a bad case of hypochondria – I was suddenly a happy trooper.
But let’s not get started on the 14-hour plane journey to Washington. I will NOT go there! It was utter madness. By the end of it, I felt like one of those mutant chickens grown in the kitchens of KFC. Shiver me timbers!
On my way to Albany, however, I met with a few other wonderful Fulbrighters. Looking back now, I can’t help but laugh out loud when, as our little plane sliced through dense clouds and an overcast sky, I looked at this girl from Hunza (who was sitting next to me) and asked her worriedly, my brow furrowed; “Think we’re gonna crash?”
Suddenly, the poor girl, like me, was frightened out of her wits. That comforted me.
But anyway, onto happier things – I arrived at the JFK airport in New York on the 5th of August after getting over my jet-lag in Albany (in addition to making some wonderful friends during the Fulbright Orientation program).
Hailing a yellow cab and loading in my suitcases, I took in as much of the city as I could – as the cab hurtled its way down the road. My senses were overloaded. The skyscrapers made me feel like a choonti, an ant.
The city was congested, throbbing with energy, pulsating with life. How clichéd. But so apt when describing New York.
In my initial few days, apart from everything else, two things about the city truly stuck out for me. Firstly, almost every second person on the street was walking a dog.
Dogs – in all shapes and sizes. Shitzus, Labs, Bloodhounds, Great Danes, Chihuahuas, Spaniels, Terriers and more. I simply couldn’t get enough of stopping almost every dog walker on the street and petting his/her pooch. So much so that I missed, and continue to miss my furry little companions back home immensely.
But it made me convinced that throughout my nine months in New York, I would continue kneeling down, giving a tail-wagging, wet-nosed, cheerful fella a quick pet and belly rub.
The second thing which stuck out for me in New York was that at night, the city looked like something out of a comic book: the mammoth skyscrapers, the lights, the slim winding roads, the sign posts, the shops and the people.
At night, the city is surreal, loud, mystifying. Like a trippy, artsy, bohemian sci-fi.
Or maybe I’m just an inexperienced traveler. But it’s true. To the foreign eye, New York is a mind-trip. And when I’d arrived, I was way past the ‘tripped out’ stage.
People from all walks of life, wearing everything and anything imaginable, tourists, New Yorkers – the city is a medley of cultures and colours.
And how can I forget the first time I walked by the Journalism School’s building. How my heart soared! I couldn’t stop smiling! The first few days of orientation went by like a breeze. Sitting in the school’s Lecture Hall amidst young, energetic journalists, each one of us was asked to introduce ourselves. When it was my turn, I stood up with a lump in my throat and looking over at the hall of students; I told them how happy and overwhelmed I was to have made it, to be with them – J-School’s Class of 2010!
In New York, and in Journalism School, I find myself inspired continuously. From my professors to my class fellows – it is almost humbling to be in the presence of so much brilliance. I’m also astounded by the approachability and humility of my professors and deans. Such remarkable role models they make, and how I value their constructive criticism.
And regarding my batch mates, one of them for instance, a girl from Hong Kong (called Ivy) has interviewed seven Nobel Laureates. One of whom was John Nash! And Ivy’s only 24-years-old.
She has to be one of the most unassuming, down to earth, young journalist’s I’ve ever met. Lacking even an iota of arrogance.
Living and studying on your own in a foreign country can be awfully overwhelming for an international student. Even though it’s been a little over a month that I’ve been here, I’ve only now felt myself acclimatizing to the way of life in the Big Apple. It was hardly instantaneous, not like I had imagined it to be. I didn’t take to it like a fish to water – more like a fish to a skateboard! But the freedom has been liberating, from the most basic of things such as walking down the road to a bookstore or a restaurant, or meeting a friend at a park or the movies. And apart from being overwhelming, for an international student, studying in another country can be astonishingly empowering. So empowering that with time, it can make one become a little haughty.
But last night, while looking out of my window, and letting the view of the Hudson River fill my eyes, I made a silent promise to myself: that no matter what happens; I’d never forget my roots. That I would remain humble and persevering and that upon my return to Pakistan next summer, I would remain tolerant of my surroundings.
Home is Home. How I miss Lahore and my loved ones. But I remain wistful, homesick, in joy.
The Friday Times
07.17.09
Down gun barrels
By Sonya Rehman and Khaver Siddiqi
Evil has had many faces. During the 20th century alone, we have seen it in many forms. It has been shocking, it has been horrific, but most of the times it has always been close to home.
It was perhaps after the Second World War when the forces of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ realized that war was a profitable commodity, but it had to be re-branded. So the forces of evil were ‘re-branded’ and along came the Cold War, which had Communism as the face of evil. Communism went on to star in many sequels and is still, the star of the Korean peninsula.
But over time Communism began to wane and wilt and so a new ‘evil’ was introduced. Harvested and bred by the forces of good themselves, this ‘evil’ has proven that war is here to stay and the forces of good and evil can continue to profit, no matter the consequences of any inflation. The face of evil for the new generation is the Taliban. Once the gallant heroes of the Soviet-Afghan War, now the enemy of states across the world – the Taliban (much like the Communism of its time) are everywhere.
However, nowhere around the world is it more close than it is in Pakistan. Or is it?
Is the threat of total domination by the Taliban real, or is it concocted and thoroughly sensationalized by media houses both at home and abroad? Is the peril of ‘Talibanization’ within Pakistan a shock and awe strategy being implemented by internal and external forces for the achievement of an ulterior motive?
Up until the year 2000, the Swat valley and the areas surrounded it, were havens for tourists and travellers from around the world. Travellers from Europe, and even the United States, frequently visited these areas – soaking in the scenery and the culture.
Then came 9/11, the ‘War on Terror’ and Osama Bin Laden – and all of that changed. Suddenly, the once precious valley became volatile and off-limits, to foreigners and to the people of the region alike.
And it is dealing with this new-found threat that has become tricky with the Pakistani government.
After first making a deal with the Taliban, the Pakistani government decided to bomb them.

In an article titled ‘Alarmism does not help’ by Aasim Sajjad Akhtar (published in a local daily), the author subscribes to the notion that: “…the jihadis have cultivated significant pockets of support (even while employing outrageous brutality and coercion at the same time) by representing themselves as an alternative to incumbent state and class power, throughout invoking a divine mandate. Trying to bomb them into submission will serve only to make their millenarian mission into a self-fulfilling prophecy and increase their popularity.” This holds rather true. Those that empathize with the Taliban and their ‘cause’ must realize that the Taliban aren’t Robin Hoods. There is no reasoning with them.
Yet, it must be understood, and never forgotten, that the Taliban’s inception and the subsequent spread of militia within Pakistan was the result of the war in Afghanistan against the Soviets in the 70s. And therefore, the United States has had quite a large hand to play in the sculpting of this explosive militia.
In April this year, the US Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, stated: “We can point fingers at the Pakistanis. I did some yesterday frankly. And it’s merited because we are wondering why they just don’t go out there and deal with these people. But the problems we face now to some extent we have to take responsibility for, having contributed to it. We also have a history of kind of moving in and out of Pakistan. Let’s remember here… the people we are fighting today we funded them twenty years ago… and we did it because we were locked in a struggle with the Soviet Union.”
As long as the Taliban posed no imminent threat to the main cities within the country, the Pakistani government had nonchalantly assumed a backseat. But as the news reports of trigger-happy Taliban started seeping in, along with the mounting pressure from the United States, the Pakistani government snapped into action – resulting in an almost zero-tolerance, ‘wipe out’ policy of the Taliban in the Northern areas of the country.
Not very long ago, spine-chilling rumours regarding the threats given to established educational institutions by the Taliban had started doing the circuit. Apparently, educational institutions such as the well-known, all girls Kinnaird College (KC) in Lahore was under threat by individuals who had stood outside the campus and warned the students to cover up or else acid would be doused on them.
A host of other schools and colleges in Lahore too, were faced with similar threats resulting in the imposition of certain dress codes for women (no jeans, or Western attire could be worn) and both genders had to keep a certain degree of physical proximity from one another.
Overall, it is Lahore and Islamabad that are now facing the brunt of these attacks. Perhaps it is the proximity or perhaps the Taliban are now sending us a signal. That no matter where we are, and no matter who we are, the Taliban can (and will) reach us. Even the local police and rescue services are no longer safe.
In May, the country suffered its third bomb blast in as many months, when the Rescue 15 building (in Lahore) was completely levelled as the result of the blast. Twenty-six people, including an ISI colonel and 15 police officials, were killed and around 400 people injured – when an explosive-laden vehicle rammed into the Rescue 15 building.
For that matter, even those scholars that decry the Taliban movement are not safe either, as in the case of Sarfraz Naeemi who was killed in a recent suicide attack in Lahore. A leading Sunni Muslim scholar opposed to the Taliban, Naeemi was known for his outspoken views against suicide bombings and militancy. Being one of the few scholars who had openly supported the ongoing military operation in Swat, Naeemi had also labelled the activities of the Taliban as “un-Islamic”. He was a vital part of a conference of Islamic scholars, convened by the government in May, which criticised suicide attacks and the beheading of innocent Muslims as un-Islamic, stating that the Taliban were “misusing” religion for their activities and were bringing a bad name to the Islamic faith. His words seem to indicate that the Taliban were being used, rather than acting on their own.
And regarding the staggering number of internally displaced families, currently? It is heart-wrenching.
Abdul Basit, a young Pakistani who happened to visit the IDP camps stated: “I get shivers down my spine every time I step into a camp because of the agony infront of me. From Swabi to Mardan, the story is the same; the IDP’s are afflicted with troubles related to health, sanitation and the scorching heat. While I was there, I heard of an incident where a father and son were trying to cross into Mardan from Malakand during the curfew. They were attacked and the son died on the spot. The father however, managed to cross over. The son was only six – he didn’t deserve this…”
Mobisher Rabbani, another youngster (based in Dubai) who has been heavily involved with collecting aid for the IDP’s, said: “I’m proud of our soldiers who are bravely fighting these terrorist and criminal elements within the country. We should pledge all our resources into helping the IDP’s get back on their feet. Whenever I visit the camps for distribution of relief items, I apologize to the people for coming to their aid so late as they’ve scarified their today, for our tomorrow.”
Our police have been attacked, our rescue services have been attacked, and our very faith has been attacked by the Taliban. Whatever the Taliban may be, a part of them is a part of us. After all, we were a part of the forces that made them who they are now. Technically, we are a parent to their destiny and we have to owe up to that, unlike the other parent – the United States – who conveniently walked out of this ‘family’ only to walk back in; guns blazing.
Only history knows the outcome of this conflict, but the sad part about that is that, history does not write herself, for she is written by the victorious.
In the final analysis, it is the soldiers of war, the preponderance of internally displaced families and the young men (roped in to fight for a ‘cause which isn’t as black and white as it’s made out to be) who are made to endure the repercussions of a ‘war’ gone horribly wrong – that are the truest of all casualties. And whose lives will never be the same again.
06.27.09
To possess, and to be possessed
By Sonya Rehman
As of late, one of my dear friends was having ‘man trouble’ (such sweet pain a pair of pants can cause a good, wholesome woman).
We talked endlessly. Myself and her. Dissecting and scrutinizing every word he’d ever uttered to her over the past month – the country could well be taken over by those blubbering Johnnies from the mountains, but when it comes to issues with the opposite sex, nothing matters more than the affairs of the heart! Nothing.
But I reiterate; only for good, wholesome women. Those kittens who know how to ‘play the game’ don’t count. They never do.
For a week, my cell phone was my babe in arms. My little Chiquita. I’d spend hours on it with my soul sister, staying in constant touch – via sms, and sporadic, albeit extended conversations.
But one day, something happened. I sort of snapped. Like an angry, red elastic band stretched too wide, in the foolish hopes to tie up a thick, glossy mane. I snapped.
So, why did I snap? Her ‘obsession’ with him, was slowly yet surely doing me in. So much so that I wanted to stick my head into an oven. Sylvia Plath style.
I absolutely erupted, and one day, I let my dearest, doe-eyed friend have it. Good and proper.
“You may hate me for saying this”, I told her sputtering, “But I’m going to be honest and harsh with you rather than pussy-foot around this entire issue. Let go now and get a grip on yourself.”
What followed was dead silence. And then she hung up on me. For a long while, I simply stared at my babe in ar-oops, I meant, cell phone.
What I actually was doing, was confronting my very own, personal demons. An ugly bugly personal demon of unflinching obsession, and possession.
And so I thought and I thought. I mulled over what had just transpired until I felt a sudden pang of regret.
Grabbing my cell phone, I typed out to her: “I hurt when you hurt. Especially when it’s about a mere pair of pants. You’re a good woman. You didn’t drag me down, but in all honesty, what you’re going through is reminding me of what I went through at one point in my life. And what every woman goes through when her heart aches incessantly. Why are women like us so black and white?”
She responded back almost immediately telling me how much she loved me, and how vital it was to remain black and white. And how it was only the good, wholesome, men – who compartmentalize their lives in the blacks and whites, just as us – who were really worth it at the end of the day.
I could almost picture my friend sighing internally, in quiet relief, as she typed out her message to me. In a way, I think she finally started ‘letting go’ that day. And, so did I.
But my friend, I knew inherently, only let go of the obsession in connection with the person. Her obsession with life, and giving love many chances would run free, consistently.
Deep down, she or I for that matter couldn’t, and perhaps, didn’t want to ever change.
But it still made me ruminate. How does one curb passion and obsession? Or should it be curbed? And I don’t just mean ardor regarding an individual, but also towards life, towards one’s work, dreams, goals…
To possess and be possessed is quite like stepping into a patch of quick-sand. It’s like sinking deep, toe-first into a honey pot, letting the gooey swirls of sugary syrup cloak you completely.
Can one live their life with the conscious subtraction of passion? But would not that be like leading a half-life? A dour life, patchy and humdrum? But then again, how much passion is enough? Should it be balanced out? Defined? And can it be? Should it be left limitless, and frantically feral?
At the base of a passionless disposition lies an immense fear of disappointment. And that very base remains strengthened, and lined in place, with one’s ego.
After all, if you love any one thing, or anyone, and you face an off-hand dismissal, what truly makes one crumble? Is it not the bruised ego and wounded pride, which speaks, then?
I only understand now, that painfully honest people, who live their lives without any fancy guises, without elaborate facades tend to nurse fantastic hopes, fantastic, boundless passions which glitter like miniature pearls in the caskets of their hearts, forever.
And at the end of the day, that is their saving grace…their salvation.
*The title of the article was changed to ‘Magnificent Possession’ once published in TFT. But I’ve kept the original title here, because I liked it better.
The Friday Times
06.08.09
What’s wrong with this picture?
By Sonya Rehman
There’s a billboard on the bridge in Cantonment (Lahore) which features a pink little baby snoozing away on a slice of bread.
The caption reads: “Gifted with softness”. If you haven’t guessed already, the advertisement is for a local bread manufacturer – or…for those who fancy newly born babies (on toast) with a side order of fries and coleslaw.
Advertising in Pakistan can be categorized into three categories; 1.) Ripped off ideas (or blatantly copied) ads from foreign ones, 2.) Good ads with original concepts, and 3.) Boring, insipid ads that would make shooting yourself in the left foot seem like a riot.
The advertising industry in Pakistan is one that has its share of blemishes, but that being stated, it stands as one that is constantly growing – provided Art Directors discontinue slapping babies on toast! Seriously, what were those cannibals thinking?
For the fashion industry, advertising in the local market has now become a true necessity for almost every small-scale (and big-wig) designer, make-up artist, fashion event managers/companies, and so on. If you’re not splashed all over the local press, then it’s ‘ship out and have a fabulous hike dah-ling’ for most involved in the fashion scene.
Therefore, given the necessity of the (now) communal lock between fashion and advertising, a question arises: is fashion in Pakistan being advertised properly? Some would subscribe to the notion that it isn’t – that too much emphasis is placed on the styling, the hair, the make-up, the accessories, the back-drop, the colour scheme of the ad, the font size/text and so on and so forth.
Too messy, some would state, so much so that it takes the viewer’s attention away from the clothes and onto other things featured in the elaborate layout. But let’s not make any generalizations because there are a lot of ads out there which really manage to bring out the designer’s clothes, which can leave viewer’s gobsmacked.
Fashion, at times, warrants using the ‘shock and awe’ strategy. Hey, it’s fashion not thermal underwear. Therefore fashion the world-over has and always will remain unapologetic for its plethora of idiosyncrasies.
Remember the print ads and billboards which featured model Aamminah Haq all wrapped up and cozy in solely ties – courtesy designer Ammar Belal’s men’s line? At first glance one would be prompted to say ‘Mama Mia’, but at second glance, one would think; ‘How weird, why wrap a female model up in men’s ties when the ad can feature male models donning suits and the ties?’
But see, here’s the thing; the aforementioned ad is one fine example of the ‘shock and awe’ strategy.
And hey you know what? It works. It manages to convey the designer’s attitude vis-à-vis his clothes, and in addition it gives interested buyers a message that the clothes convey a certain lifestyle and personality type. One that is fun, spunky and risqué – and has nothing to do with wrapping women up with ties (don’t get any ideas).
On the OTHER hand, some fashion print ads can be particularly asinine. Such as models floating underwater holding purses or swishing about their designer garb whilst looking like terrified goldfish. Ads like that don’t make head or tail. I mean, what’s the designer or the creative dude behind the ad trying to put across? It’s not like any woman out there (while flipping through a fashion glossy) would exclaim (as she comes across the ad) in excitement wishing that she too could swish about dramatically 10 feet deep in a tank of water!
And just as blatant copying/plagiarism exists in advertising – no matter which product is being advertised – some local fashion shoots and print ads are too, ripped off from international glossies such as Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Vanity Fair, etc. At times, there really seems to be a serious dearth of both creativity and originality in both the local fashion and advertising industries.
On a totally different tangent (yet remaining within the fashion/advertising issue at hand), it is also said that certain local publications approach certain well-established designers for interviews and only let them go into print with the bargain of getting an ad in return from the designers. Therefore the question here arises is: how much support do our local designers really get from the local print media in terms of publicity?
“A lot of the content that you see in these fashion publications is planned according to the likes of the designers/make-up artists who regularly buy advertising space in a magazine”, Anum Pasha a twenty-something fashion journalist states, “This can be anything from a cover story to a one-paragraph mini feature. Very few fashion magazines will have an unbiased approach towards fashion. As it is in the fashion industry itself that backbiting, and the ‘I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-my-back’ phenomenon are common elements, a lot of fashion journalists are bombarded with pleas, favours, threats, and so on. Thus, coverage carries a huge element of bias in Pakistan.”
That’s a pretty interesting spin on the entire subject wouldn’t you agree? So while some publications may ‘blackmail’ designers to buy advertising space in their rag-mags with promises of promotion, designers too wind up wining and dining editors of these very publications to get coverage, publicity, support and yes – a sugary dollop of favouritism.
I’ve seen it happen – up close and personal. Therefore, at the end of the day it really all is a two-way street. Fashion and advertising is not as black and white as you may think it is – it can be shady, vibrant and dubious all at once.
In the words of reputed ad-man, Leo Burnett: “I am one who believes that one of the greatest dangers of advertising is not that of misleading people, but that of boring them to death”, and, “Fun without sell gets nowhere but sell without fun tends to become obnoxious.” So very true, especially when advertisers and designers consider over the top ad themes as ‘mod-run’ and ‘new-age’ by placing babies on toast and models in water tanks!
Synergyzer Magazine
05.29.09
Passion for Pakistan


05.17.09
A Tale of Two Cities
By Sonya Rehman and Khaver Siddiqi
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. Charles Dickens’ literary masterpiece, ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ begins with these words. Though the novel has a theme of self-sacrifice and resurrection, the starting line of the novel can be applied here in Pakistan, to the two of its largest and most prominent cities; Karachi and Lahore.
Indeed both cities have seen the best of times and the worst of times, as far as the music industry is concerned, but how do these cities relate to one another? How does their music combine and form the modern music scene as we know it?
The music that originates from the Punjab is as intricate as its historic architecture. Lahore, the Garden of the Mughals, has seen a myriad of melodies, genres, and vocals alongside a variety of musical instruments (both new and old) over the past few decades. This has given rise to the city’s diverse sound of music and rapidly evolving culture.
From the earthy qawwals of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, the Punjabi ditties of Abrar-ul-Haq, the pop sensations; Atif Aslam and Ali Zafar, the underground Lahori grunge/rock revolution (of a handful of bands) in the early 90s and to the revolutionaries of yesteryear – Noor Jehan, Farida Khanum, Ustad Amanat Ali Khan and many more. In addition, the dhol maestro, Pappu Saien, and the master of the ek tara, Saien Zahoor (both of whom have shared their glory performing for people at shrines to concerts), to the fresh crop of commercialized Lahori pop acts (of both the past and today), to the jaded, angst-ridden rockers/bands such as Shahzad Hameed, Call, and eP…music from Lahore has been assorted at best. Infact the Lahori music scene has churned out so many musicians over the years that it would be almost impossible to list each band/musician down. Nonetheless, each has contributed to the country’s music scene on a macro level – making it what it is today; pulsating with promise.
Even though things have been on the downslide – given the worldwide economic recession and the security situation within the country – our local musicians have still managed to stay in the game by taking out albums (some of which are completely self-funded), and playing at concerts and gigs throughout the country.
Therefore, given the innumerable genres, the music from the Punjab cannot really be ‘defined’ as such, rather, just ‘felt’, and taken in. And perhaps this is what sets the city of Lahore’s music apart from Karachi’s music scene. Where Karachi carries its very own, signature sound, melodies from Lahore come wrapped in unrequited love, Sufi-istic devotion, and nostalgia – which oft reminds one of luminous diyas, and fresh jasmine.
On the other hand, Karachi as a city can best be described as a potpourri of people, traditions, lifestyles and history. This stepping stone of Mohammad Bin Qasim, a picturesque city of light and lightlessness, has its own distinct sound which permeates through the air and settles amongst its populace.
Music has been a vital part of this city, whether it is the sound of the drums at Abdullah Shah Ghazi’s Mazar or the tone of socialism in Faiz Ahmad Faiz’s poetry, the music (and its words) very much echo the mood of the city. It is somber and realist, laced with satire and melancholy. Karachi music has no definite history to speak of, such as Lahore has. This is because compared to Lahore; Karachi is a modern city with a modern sound. It is the sound of realism, sometimes the harshness of reality and sometimes an echo of its soul.

(Above: Abida Parveen)
The music from the city by the sea is gritty, real and often makes many political statements. ‘Social Circus’ by Ali Azmat is an album that, in recent times, speaks this city’s language. Take this album and drive along the streets of Karachi and you’ll find yourself traveling the city with an accompanying soundtrack. From the raging guitars of the intro track accompanied by the blaring W-11 and all, to the calming rushes of the waves at the coast, this album really does speak the language of this city.
But its not just Azmat’s album that beckons the sights and sounds of Karachi, bands like Strings and Junoon evoke a particular Karachi sound. In terms of heritage, giants like Allan Fakir and Abida Parveen evoke a rich texture unto the language of the entire province. Going further deep into heritage we come to the mazars of Karachi, most particularly the Abdullah Shah Ghazi, the monument that is perhaps the epitome of this land, long before our time and the British Raj. One will often find people from all walks of life loitering about the mazar; some simply paying their respects through prayer whereas others through their stories of song. And it is those stories of song that truly paint an unseen picture of the city by the sea. No matter where you are in the world, if you hear tracks by these artistes or the songs of these faithful, one would be compelled to think of Karachi.
Comparisons between Lahore and Karachi are ultimately inevitable. Though we are one nation and one people, we speak many languages and we have a collective history of many generations. Though the two cities are so vastly different, so vastly apart, they are indeed just branches of the one same tree.
In Pakistan, we have at our disposal, a thoroughly rich and diverse cultural heritage, which has blossomed over the decades, if not centuries. From almost every facet of what ‘art’ encompasses – such as; music, fashion, poetry, architecture and so on.
That being stated, there is a hidden but devastating war taking place. Unlike our neighbors that celebrate, support and cherish their culture, our culture is slowly being eroded by ourselves. Our children are more familiar with Miley Cyrus’ songs and Aamir Khan’s 15 minute memory that they are ambiguous and lost to the rich culture that is their own.
And what is the result of that?
The result is we are now on the brink of losing our identity. Our art and culture must be held on to with an unflinching zeal. It must constantly be nurtured, nourished and cultivated without letting and allowing ‘borrowed culture’ from overseas sully it. For in these trying times, art seems to be our only release, making everything, at the end of the day seem all the more worthwhile.