The Twilight Zone

By Sonya Rehman

It seems as if the ‘entertainment world’ at large has been in quite a delicious little spin this summer. For one, Hilton ol’ girl had her anorexic little bum shoved back into the oven when she found herself being dragged back off into jail to complete her full sentence.

And rightfully so.

Drinking under intoxication simply cannot be frivolously shrugged off, one car crash – and baby say hello to (wa-hey!) paralysis and a few odd bones smashed to smithereens (not to mention the chance of running someone over into a scrambled-egg-pulp).

But let us not sermonize, the point is, the chick happened to have a ‘Zen’ moment and in an interview with Barbara (spill-the-beans-you-celebrity-you) Walters – a delirious Paris stated she was “released by God” (you don’t say) and that she “Used to act dumb. That act is no longer cute” (no shit Sherlock)!
So while Paris basks in her newfound ‘Om’ trance (and gets rubbed up the wrong way by hairy butch inmates), Mike Tyson prances his boxing tush all the way to Bollywood.
Will wonders ever cease?

Asked to shoot a ‘promotional video’ by Firoze A. Nadiadwala (the producer) for the film ‘Fool N’ Final’ (unbelievably creative – shudder – name, no?) – Tyson has been more than game to shake his money-maker.
Perhaps the fella’s landed himself into a tight little (debt) spot. Biting far too many ears off have ya now buddy?
Just yesterday (June 11), a local music channel televised a rather obnoxious rendition of Nazia (the Queen) Hassan’s ‘Boom boom’ by some (gori) chick called ‘Kamaliya’.

The fast-paced remix music sounded fine until the lady started singing (read: squealing) the number in a half-baked, cringingly off-key Urdu accent. Her deliverance of the song, coupled with her lack of proper pronunciation, made ‘Boom boom’ sound like an underwater farting orchestra!
So disturbing it was that my spaniel barked his furry rear off throughout the entire number while I scrapped by jaw off the floor.

To state that Kamaliya’s version was disturbing would be an understatement…one wonders how she got the rights to cover the song and if Zoheb Hassan was/is aware of it. And let’s not forget to mention the video too – strapped in the tightest red and black leather garb possible, Kamaliya swung and swayed in what looked like a seedy joint whilst giving some poor joker the come-on.

Now look, we’ve seen some pretty raunchy club scenes in music videos before – but this one, really took the cake! Even Rahim Shah’s ‘Tere Ishq’ video was child’s play in comparison. But who cares – the video isn’t such a big deal really – what’s bigger is the fact that Nazia’s wonderful number was savagely farted and sexed up by way of leather pants and a snorkel.

And you know what the icing on the cake of this mad little tea-party would be? If our Pakistani record labels would stick to their contracts rather than sitting back and watching their hatchlings fly off to India for bigger, better and more promising deals. Hoohaa!

Instep Today, The News

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